Dirty: A Diary of Survival, Sex Work and Submission
After the commercial success of my first book, Playing To Lose, I wanted to write a second one, offering a zoomed-in look at a year in my life as a BDSM performer. But as I began work on book two, a reunion with my much younger brother forced me to confront a part of my past that I'd not written about before. During childhood, my two siblings and I were the victims of an abuser, and I discovered that writing a diary about my career wasn't all I wanted to achieve with my year. I wanted justice for the three of us. I wanted to finally stop feeling DIRTY.
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Here's a video blurb! I censored it quite a lot to make it Kickstarter-friendly. Kickstarter rejected it anyway, for being too erotic. I think it was the image of the Eiffel Tower that pushed them over the edge. What do you think it was?
Why I Chose Crowdfunding
DIRTY is already written and edited, and has had its legal work (essential when writing narrative non-fiction) completed. So DIRTY's future existence is certain, in paperback, ebook and audiobook formats. My crowdfunding campaign started in February 2026, and three weeks later, thanks to the support of my friends, peers, fans and readers, it was completed. I decided to crowdfund as a way to cover the final-straight expenses related to printing the paperback, and as a way of figuring out how many copies to print in the first instance. I was scared of guessing, being far too optimistic, and ending up with a garage full of unwanted paperbacks gradually getting damp and reproachful. I think this may be a nightmare of many — to be surrounded by our moldering, unread words. Anyway, that shouldn't happen now, because I have data. Also, print-on-demand turns out to be a thing. Hooray.
My first book, PLAYING TO LOSE, was published by Unbound, who went into administration in 2025, taking hundreds of authors' unpaid royalties with them. I am one of the authors owed money in sales — I never received any of the royalties from my book's publication in the USA and Canada, so self-publishing my second story felt safer than trusting a new publisher with my work.
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DIRTY is due to be published on 1st June 2026.
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