Dirty: A Diary of Survival, Sex Work and Submission

After the commercial success of my first book, Playing To Lose, I wanted to write a second one, offering a zoomed-in look at a year in my life as a BDSM performer. But as I began work on book two, a reunion with my much younger brother forced me to confront a part of my past that I'd not written about before. During childhood, my two siblings and I were the victims of an abuser, and I discovered that writing a diary about my career wasn't all I wanted to achieve with my year. I wanted justice for the three of us. I wanted to finally stop feeling DIRTY.

Here's a video blurb! I censored it quite a lot to make it Kickstarter-friendly. Kickstarter rejected it anyway, for being too erotic. I think it was the image of the Eiffel Tower that pushed them over the edge. What do you think it was?

Why I Am Crowdfunding

DIRTY is already written and edited, and has had its legal work (essential when writing narrative non-fiction) completed. So DIRTY's future existence as an ebook is certain. I'm raising funds to produce the paperback version and the audiobook.

My first book was published by Unbound, who went into administration in 2025, taking hundreds of authors' unpaid royalties with them. I am one of the authors owed money in sales — I never received any of the funds from my book's publication in the USA and Canada, so self-publishing my second story felt safer than trusting a new publisher with my work.

I was hugely grateful for the success of my crowdfunder for Playing To Lose, and enjoyed the process unreasonably, because I'm endlessly obsessive and enjoyed the progress graphs. Since I'm owed the royalties I'd have used to fund production, crowdfunding for DIRTY feels like a good way to get readers involved in the end-game of getting my book to market — I'd love your company on the home straight, just as I appreciated it last time round. Publishing is more fun with friends to share it with.

Since Kickstarter has turns out to be irredeemably censorious when it comes to sex-workers trying to do non-sex-work things, I'm running my campaign via pre-orders on my new store. I'll put regular updates on my X feed and Substack pages, so once you've pre-ordered there'll be plenty of reassurance that everything's going ahead as promised. At the time of writing this, the cover is being designed, in order to clothe the ebook and paperback appropriately. I would NEVER send you naked content. My God, no.

Support my crowdfunder by pre-ordering here!